JUICY UNICORN TIMES

Your trusted source of local and global news.

Cover Image for Chubby, Rabid Unicorn Rampages Through Town, Devours Entire Twinkie Supply!

In a bizarre and sugar-filled spectacle, a rotund unicorn, apparently suffering from a severe case of the munchies, went on a Twinkie binge, leaving a small town in a state of both awe and dessert-deprivation.

Cornelious Finkelstein

More Stories

Cover Image for Hepatitis A: you won't forgive your corn

Hepatitis A: you won't forgive your corn

The corn that'll kill you faster than a drunk driver.

Cornelious Finkelstein
Cover Image for Local woman goes rabid for lottery tickets

Local woman goes rabid for lottery tickets

Gambling is not the cure.

Cornelious Finkelstein
Cover Image for Doctor removed brain instead of tonsils, still cured stones!

Doctor removed brain instead of tonsils, still cured stones!

Jessica Miano loses 86.2% of brain in botched tonsillectomy.

Cornelious Finkelstein
Cover Image for Mpreg Outbreak Spreads South

Mpreg Outbreak Spreads South

Dipping my nuts in peanut sauce

Cornelious Finkelstein